"Tough times don't last but tough people do." - A.C. Green
{ Big Blue Valentines // Wednesday, February 14th }
Ring. Ring. Ring. Ri – Darn. It’s Valentine’s Day. The day I was dreading with every fiber of my being. The day where the only chatter is about boyfriends, love and gifts. I hate today, like I hate math. The reason is quite simple. It’s not that I am lacking in the boyfriend field, like many single girls might be mourning over. Actually, I have a very handsome boyfriend with dark, rocker-messy hair, wild emerald-green eyes and a roll-of-the-tongue name, Pierre, to look forward to. However, I am lacking the love and gifts. Sure, he loves me. He says it once in a while, but usually after I casually slip it in and stare at him for an answer. But he is not one for any public display of affection, or more specifically, display of affection. The best I’ve ever gotten was an “I Love You” and an awkward moment where a kiss should have taken place. But no… he bends over and gives me a slightly playful, but suspiciously painful punch. Oh yeah, haha! I love you PUNCH! Oh, the romance…it’s just touching. I’m lucky that he even walks with me and holds my hand… for a few seconds.
About a week ago, I felt ambitious and leaned in for a quick peck on the cheek-lip area, when he sheepishly backed away. Exasperated, I finally built up the courage to confront him about his issues. “Pierre, do you love me? If you do then why don’t you show it? We’ve been together for two years! I need a little bit more from you. You don’t want to kiss, hold hands or even hug! I understand if we are in a crowd, but when it’s just us…it’s just frustrating.”
A look of shock grazed his handsome face, and, like a boy promising his mom that he will eat his vegetables…next time, he answered, “I love you, Hailey. I really do. I’m just… shy. I-I’ve never like anyone this much before. I just…don’t want to rush it. I don’t want to lose you.”
My heart melted like ice-cream in an oven and I almost broke the rules and went mental-institution on him by hugging him then and there. But I had to remember those times I cried on my best friend Lauren’s shoulder every time he pulled away. “Well, if you don’t do anything special, and I mean like whoa special… then you will.”
So here I am, walking with Lauren as she cradles her basket of every flower imaginable and her 13 Valentine cards protectively. The cards symbolize every month she has been dating Trent, the little man with the funny accent. It’s so sweet, yet so depressing. The pressure is on.
“Trent is such a sweetie! And here, I expected roses and M&M’s!” She cries, and I almost cry as well, but from a different emotion.
Yes, well…roses and M&M’s are classics. All the girls in evil algebra class have them! I want something special too. I need Pierre to get me something special and if he really loves me, then he will.
“Ah! Here comes the boyfriend. I’ll leave you alone.” She inches away in an obvious manner.
Pierre approaches, and to my dismay, there he stands with a plastic bag of red M&M’s that is already open.
“Um… Happy V-day, Hailey.”
I look on, and tears sting my eyes. I take the bag and shake my head disappointedly. He’s failed me again. Do I mean anything to him? With the bag of red M&M’s in my hand, I run away before he can say anything to his defense as I leave him alone. He had one chance to show me he loved me. What do I get? A half-open pack of red M&M’s! I didn’t even get the stem of a rose!
Wiping the tears from my eyes, I whimper miserably on the front stairs of the gloomy school building as memories play in my head. Every memory I have of a time where I was able to step into his little bubble, is mirrored with a memory of the times he pulled away and where I was left with the heart-wrenching feeling of rejection. This might not be so different, but I confronted him in hopes that he cared enough to try, but now I know that there is no use in hoping. Feeling sorry for myself, I wipe the tears from my eyes and look around at what Pierre is doing to me. The fact that I am missing homeroom doesn’t even cross my mind. Ass!
Surprisingly, a laugh chokes me. Gosh, I’m so stupid. I practically broke up with him because he finally gave me something. I’m one twisted woman.
Sniffing noisily, I grab some M&M’s. Clumsily, I drop them and the sound of a hundred pebbles clatter on the gravel pavement, echoing into the distance. This is so not my day, I tell myself as I gather the red M&M’s.
Then I see it. Amidst the scatter of M&M’s, a large blue peanut-butter one lies, my favorite kind. Tears well up once more as I pick it up and embrace it with my fingers. As I stare at it, I notice small writing on the surface. Looking closer, I can barely read the words inscribed on it, but in no time I am speeding through the school corridor, pushing unfortunate bystanders as I look for that one person.
The big blue M&M, which was hidden in the pack of tiny red ones, said, “You are one in a million.”
Kat B sent black roses on 08:32 PM CST
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